BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards 2010

Joy Thomas brings disrepute on the good name of folkingcool but has a nice time in the process

Dear Reader,

Bwa, ha, ha! Silly old trusting folkingcool, allowing me to review the BBC Folk Awards last Monday 1st February. It was too exciting NOT to be a bit naughty…

First things first. Yes I did touch Jackie Oates but I don’t think she noticed. I very nearly reversed into Ralph McTell. Chris Evans is taller than you’d expect and sort of perfectly cared-for looking, like he’d been taken out of some cotton wool, given a polish and send out for the night. Is this what happens when you reach a certain level of fame, o Reader? Richard Hawley confessed that Norma Waterson reduced him to a “puddle of piss” and never once took his bloody coat off (maybe some piss stains to cover up?). Kevin Whately wore the moustache of a knicker-elastic-selling spiv and Lembit Opik just stood there, as per usual. (It should be a verb, “to Lembit Opik”).

After a rousing (pink!) champagne reception accompanied by some morris dancers (many under the age of 30, please note) we “chosen few” were allowed into the Inner Sanctum to hear Mike Harding tell some really shit jokes. The Bad Shepherds were the first band of the evening to play with their blah folk version of I Fought the Law. I managed to keep my opinion to myself and clapped politely. All that changed as soon as Show of Hands started winning awards, however. Best duo? Piss off. Best Original Song for Arrogance, Ignorance and Greed??? WHAT a load of bollocks. No song with the lyrics “your probity you betrayed for greeeeeed” should even be considered for such an award. And then they only went and bloody well sang it didn’t they? Good LORD.

When Bellowhead failed to win Best Group I managed to refrain from booing as I rather like the winners, Lau. Darling Bellowhead did win Best Live Act and Jon Boden picked up Musician of the Year. Boden thanked the landlords of all the pubs which had allowed them to sing and play (and drink, I presume) until 3 in the morning. Rather charmed me, that did.

A Lifetime Achievement Award went to Nanci Griffith after Bob Harris read out some of her dreadful lyrics (sacrilege maybe, o Reader, but it’s just my OPINION so stop complaining). Dick Gaughan won the other Lifetime Achievement Award which I thought was a bit more like it… but then I was distracted by Observer music journalists not putting white wine back in the wine cooler. Thankfully Dick managed to swing my attention back by being Just Ace and singing like a bloody hero.

Sadly my beloved Jackie Oates came away without an award (how I roared with pain, Reader) but Cara Dillon sang beautifully, accompanied by her Lakeman husband with his Lakemen jaw (Sam, on piano) so I decided it was ok for her to take album of the year. She’s older than Jackie, after all.

Reader, I booed, I bitched, I cringed, I roared and I accidentally guffawed with laughter when Bob Harris talked of his and Nanci Griffith’s battles with cancer (my guffaw was UNRELATED and BADLY TIMED). And then as the Transatlantic Sessions, winners of the ‘Good Tradition Award’ were quoting Horace (art is in hiding the art’ – nice) I noticed another journalist’s dictaphone on the table. And, like a hero, I fled. So, dear sweet Reader, you ain’t seen me and you can’t remember my name. Ok?

Joy Thomas